Yesteryear Diary - New January “Hickey or a Bruise”

1 Minute Stories on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

Yesteryear Diary

New January

“Hickey or a Bruise”

 

 

Como estas,

The one thing you can’t do is stop reading!

Whats up Party people, lets do this

 

on one hand, We know more about faraway stars than we know about Nutrition, Biology or Human Chemistry

while on the other, Love used to be a Drug

now “Mystery to solve” is the new Drug & Suspense just kills you

 

2 friends - Mr. Cool, well I know him like I know myself & Mr Nobody who had Questionable taste in Partners share interesting reminiscence about Love vs Relationships

Goa, Every New Years SunDowner, Bossa Nova playing on the shack in the background… waves hitting the shore, feet deep in the beach sand, when all the smoke kicks in… winds start singing,  voices like her

 

Mr Nobody: In a relationship, women remember everything

He goes on saying… I have a Story to tell… This is a Classic! V Hush Hush,

Love is retarded, how do you say… Less is more 

 

Mr Cool said:

12345 Thousand times,

Messages from girls I never met

The bond with girls I never met

When we fell for each other & never met

Till they became Messages from girls I never Meet

It is “A Truth” not “THE Truth”

 

Mr Nobody: Like nowadays the liquor prices change faster than the stock exchange

 

Mr Cool: sorry to disappoint you… Beer me! he whispered

Thinks everything is about him

 

Mr Nobody: Unrequited!

 

Mr Cool: Pyar ek tarfa nahi hota

 

 

Story in a Story

 

Mr Nobody: listen up, It was 5 below unbelievably cold with the wind blowing at the dark of the night. Snow-capped mountains, lush forests, waves lapping against the shores & sand dunes shifting shape

 

She said: My Guy living the life in the fast lane, going places,

Mr Nobody’s chic

 

Mr. Cool: this girl scares the shit out of me, v influential

Obsessing over all the wrong things

 

I love the idea of making breakfast for dinner, so I do that often to wear a smile for no fuckin reason

But then you get married & if the other doesn’t dig then you are in a spot…

Do you believe in design of life, maybe it gives you hope or if you believe anything is possible

Everything is fixed & shit happens for a reason

Maybe, All this is part of your journey predetermined

Hmmm maybe not

Your life is like… irresistible chaos in the Fridge

For some slot machines to vending machines

Coz you need things instant - Underwear fast change

 

Mr. Cool: I thought online dating Lacked Drama,

But then you meet people & your opinions come out, get changed or even made

From those who have baggage to those “only looking for a friend” to FWB, ONS,

then funny ones like “no hookups” who defines that it is bad

Like sex is bad, we were born because of it for crying out loud again, why because it feels great…

looks like someone has issues getting an O to ring that bell haha

 

it starts with Grand to seeya,

miss you crazy,

Love you deeply,

Love you Madly

hate you gladly

 

For Ever n Ever, or Never ever Bozos

Wreck it!

 

Think of it like picking a Genre where you are selective & while you think you don’t like Horror or slow burn you end up liking Conjuring, Shutter or Breaking Bad to Ozark for that matter… to your surprise you will realize that another person’s misery is the world’s entertainment – you can learn this from Making a Murderer, or I wrote about it earlier in Romeo + Juliet

We have to agree Struggle is entertaining

 

They label it Greatest hits

Hacks to make you dream Fairytales which are v Entertaining,

I am selling if you buying…

 

Mr Nobody: what? Promise Land.

Mr Cool: Later on you walk the lane called buyer’s remorse,

Mr Nobody: so what gives?

tell me something new, something I don’t know

 

Not just needed when you want but when the other needs it

The analogy is like the meme - Sputnik vaccine is arriving, where a Curvaceous Russian model walks towards you in a see-through bikini

 

Mr Nobody: I once got to that time of the relationship when there was “your side of the bed”

I was “Mildly Attracted” after the Cocktail Mix

Hmmm forget it

 

Mr Cool: keep going I am so into it… you fuckin Crack me up

then Crank it up

Mr Nobody: haha better than your MashUp

We are such UnRomantic Rolling Dice but then you…

The Crown Prince, tell me your secret sauce

 

Mr Cool: I once fell hard in love, besides playing with each other we started playing tennis

She said at last something in common & I thought he married me for my body

I told myself why pretend to be someone you’re not

all you want in a partner is – Precedent

1.       Hotness overload, have some class

2.       Freak in bed

3.       Always ready for crazy fun

here I am still dancing

 

Mr Nobody: so you telling me to keep options open

 

Mr Cool: Nah but You get kissed when you were least expecting

 

Let me give you the Dos & don’ts

Lets take the other gender on the Apps. At the time of developing your profile on these dating apps, they give all kind of signs to throw you under the bus & Women go for it

Scaring the guys away

Like “You shouldn’t go out with me” if…, interesting way to die in the dating world

This ones funny… She said we can be friends, I said then introduce me to your friends

Playing hard to get gone wrong – she wrote on her bio “Women empowerment”

Lady you ain’t getting any… you are here for dating not quota. Lighten up will ya

We all know why she is single

 

you haven’t had a vacation in years

Choice Paralysis hits you with an idea, come on you know

 

Do your thing

That’s all Folks

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

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Avant Garde type feeling, a poetic twist along with one-liners 

Short Tales Read Affair 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

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Yesteryear Diary (August) “16 Somvar ke Vrat”

1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling

a poetic twist along with one-liners

Short Tales Read Affair on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

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Yesteryear Diary

August

“16 Somvar ke Vrat”

 

 

Obvious & central fact

You need to get dumped to learn

You need to fail to succeed

You need to be heartbroken to sing

You need to be lost to find your own way home

While you need to be free to show that Loyalty

When they will love me more than I love myself…

 

I urge to never get diet plans, its like how they say that the best way to stay in love is to never marry, reducing you to what you are not, So you go Solo on this path of life because you don’t wanna be trapped

Besides the fact that you like em a whole lot less when you see them all the time

I was ready since I was thirteen, you wanna be Led by Love not Fear!

True for those “no one will ever know” WALE

but then Forgive me - “Belly Fat Chupao nahi Ghatao”

you let me know how that works out for ya

This is the thing, its always about you at your own convenience

The thing is, you get apps to measure your steps but not the waist

You tend to forget the reason why you started… so miss the point.

The point is to look good not show off about how much input or if you sweat it out…

makeup your melons – is it for the heart or for the body beautiful?!

Calling yourself a Gym freak haha in subtle words I call it “cuteness overload”

 

You don’t lie to the night, the night knows it all…

 

Similarly, you start 16 Somvar ke Vrat which is basically fasting 16 weeks for the means to an end

In the process you forget,

Starving, not to work an appetite

Not for those ooo…s

Not for shedding a few pounds

Never to detox

was it to get your request approved by the Lord

OR

sending a message to the Gods, well everyone has their own

Piece of trivia for you good folks who don’t know what 16 Somvar ke Vrat means

 

16 somvar ka Vrat kar ke kya mila, it didn’t come through

Besides the fact that she never got what she wanted “a Man”

 

 

The Dystopian Story

Last August, after 16 Somvar

Friend1: Sounds easier than it was, getting a Dilddo would be the solve for this madness

Friend2: Fuckin A

After that she had no waist, no clothes that fit & No sense of humor

she went for Plan B

 

I have a question for ya, did you make the list? Answer will change over time, & that’s fine, where we are is not more important than the Freefall

 

Lets take you back to June 2020, Masking the sorrow with laughter

She said too lazy to find another boyfriend

Mr Ex: I’ll keep that in mind

Its like a dog chasing a car… even though it catches it, still can’t ride it

She: I never thought about it like that

Thinking more than what they are & that’s how it all started

 

The time flows the way the wind blows

 

Remembering 2019: they keep telling me how little I know… but then who gives a fuck, why give a fuck

this is when she Fell hard in love

 

in August 2020: a couple of friends gather after the lockdown or simply when things Unlocked

She goes for a 5-course buffet, it was Metallica for the Junkies.

Upon her return she orders a bowl of fries for the table

Calling it Crap…

Friend: For someone who has been going for back to back buffets since Tuesday you sure moan a lot. After eating so well in weeks… 16 to be precise you might enjoy Food!

She: I am paying for it, I can bitch about it if I want

Friend: you need a doctor? Woman decide

Addressing the Elephant in the room, Mr Ex said & I quote “She could kick me out when she had the chance but she stuck to me”

 

She: So dramatic, be cool…

Friend: its Hot you kept saying… & it landed you in this mess

She: Chillout, get a Popsical or Frozen Yogurt

Friend: No need to pick one, I want fuckin everything

Standard pattern! What the Fuck do single people do… Give relationship advice

 

If its expensive it doesn’t mean its good

You need to leave good to get great

 

Wait for it…

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

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Songs & Tales

1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling

a poetic twist along with one-liners

Short Tales Read Affair on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

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Songs & Tales

 

 

FunFacts which are Heavy, It came to my mind while poopin rainbows

Most of your life you were sleeping or you slept away 1/3^rd of your life already

That’s bananas as Fuck

 

Winters are all about the courage one gathers for the Power to shower

Grotesque! give me a break

There are 2 type of people in this world, those who can’t wait to get up no matter what, these guys have mad energy

& those who can live to sleep… I mean what a waste

 

The truth doesn’t matter, can you live with that lie or can you handle the truth while the truth will set you free

they say honesty is the best medicine, Sounds incredibly stupid

yours is in Red Underlined

& I want my own Merch

 

Our generation has no Filter, Astronomical Bitches…

RAP with me

As Sick as a Taycan

As mean as a 4x4

They get excited like a Startup

They breakdown like the Crypto Market

As dark as night

As Rad as All star

As easy as Sunday morning

As fine as a Cut

Mine is bigger than yours haha

 

Everyone is an influencer, binge watching a series

Best friend is an iPhone

Pet peeves is waking up & if its not about me then why talk

Greys are cool coz you are lazy

Pyjamas are fashion as you fit right in

They want to fit right in but still stay uncomfortable like leather pants…

Heels are Passe, sneakers are in style which is as good as someone famous

Hate anything that isn’t automated

Technology is God

 

They like things that can be switched off or have a mute button

Span of interest is as low as a Mosquito doing its thing & flying away

Things are as relevant as a Reel

They don’t care if its real till its posted

 

Purpose of biting your & not doing your nails is lame which you don’t want to know

 

Story about probably the craziest Night

The Virile Man: I am sure I can think of something, my whole life is 1 big fat lie

I remember nothing from my college, but my singing skills are still sharp.

Was a real party

You need to get drunk to feel better about everything

You don’t believe me

 

A wise man said “Hangovers are temporary, Stories are forever”

Woke up Right side of the Wrong Bed

There were cushions he never saw

There were People sleeping in his bed he never met

Her breath smelled like marshmallows & minty coffee

Fueling up @ 9 AM, the only thing that makes sense

it was old time rock n roll

somebody stop me

 

20 years later on a New Years Party

HE said: Lets Hang

Excuse me she said: you look like my future Sugar Daddy

People are dumb they don’t know the difference

When you start drinking… its like as soon as you sit in the car, you are in a hurry to go nowhere!

My fuckin Proverb… Over simplified - Gentleman this is a Robbery!

It was the Brewski talking

 

Suddenly he heard Quick Gun Murgan: you do not age, I need the number of your witch

Gunpowder: They bumped & said are you goin in or coming out

who are you? I feel we practically know each other

 

The Virile Man: Party like it’s the last one

You can’t blame em of dancing to your tunes when the music is playing on “are you crazy levels”

Celebrate every moment

She said: catch your breathe

 

People get creative while we keep it simple

 

They start singing

Not sure if its good for anyone

Coffee over tea

Gurgaon over Noida

Progressive over Bolly

dine over homemade,

Party over Sleep

Nocturnal over Early Risers

Cult over taste, Orange is a fruit not a colour

Think its Fly

 

She said, My idea of fun is an UnderGround After Party,

Fire up the Mother Ship… The guy was from the poster

The Virile Man: That blew my mind, I knew for the first time in my life that I belong

Party is one thing, but this is another & in that moment

Adernalin & Endorphins

You alright? Ans: Peaches

 

Never understood until now, in that very moment it hit her hard

Like a head on collision with a train

 

There is 0% Tax to have a good time & Free to search for laughter – anything else Google it

 

Now be cool, till the music dies, like you miss that Ex

Thinking about you

Alone with you

Along with you

Right where I belong

Was made to realize that there is no end

 

The Author duuu Me: Needs more coffee than Air, I wish I know what to do

Unfinished! I tell everyone all the time

 

Now, Make like a tree & leave

Partys over!

 

I love my life, what about you?

I’m gonna come right out & say it… not good at these things

Get a Life!

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

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The Mummy Logic

1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling

a poetic twist along with one-liners

Short Tales Read Affair on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

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"The Mummy Logic"

 

 

This goes to all the wonderful Mothers out there who spread nothing but Love & Positivity to see their Child Happy! Now lets have some fun while we read about the most beautiful relationship ever

 

A shower thought

Have you slept under the stars? heavy weight partying, sunrise walks…?

On a Scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate it?

Almost Never? piece of advice “now you can’t wait, I say you need to live it up a little”

Or How the kids in my tribe say “I’ll have what he’s having”

 

Mummy keeps you in this place, a zone if you may… which is V comfortable with all the goodies. It has unconditional love, food, no judgement until she defines it! Period & did I mention FOOD

Ya she even lies to say “you are so Handsome” – with Zero chances of you getting a date

I kept learning in my life that the things that set you free are when you let go…

On the contrary a Mother never lets go of her child no matter what – for the best or the worst

So if you ask your Mummy about all this she will say

Mosquitos are gonna bite you so don’t sleep in the open… don’t go out in the dark its not safe etc

She wants to protect you & maybe in that process you might miss out on much, maybe not get exposed to the real world… you usually get tagged as the Mumma’s boy

 

Everyone has their own version of the truth, what is the truth

Short version - Everything is not about you but then it is

Did you ever think why they say why you are what you eat

So it all comes from the Mummy Logic

 

Mummy Logic is pretty damn simple – everything revolves around weddings & cooking for you

You know Food is a Solve for everything! will work on those who only understand food

Well as our Mummy would lay down a road map by saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his tummy”

 

 

You can never win

Puttar: Tring Tring

MummyJi: Yaad aagai Mummy ki, tu phone hi nahi karta

Puttar: I called you Bebe, aapne nahi kiya

MummyJi: I was wondering why you didn’t call since…

 

 

That’s Heavy

Puttar: Frankly just need Coffee, Sex & Netflix

MummyJi: Kuch Khaiga nahi

 

 

Rad

MummyJi: Haddiya Nikal aaihai

Puttar: Bebe, these are called Abs

 

 

Buttering Logic

Puttar: Bebe, no Ghee pls

MummyJi: Apne Papa ko Dekh, he used to have enough which has helped him

Puttar: What to retain a Belly?

MummyJi: 2 Kilo Makhan nikala tha just for you

 

 

No Graveyard shifts

MummyJi: Why do Parties start @ 11 PM?

Puttar: beats me… Das toh Ki Kara

MummyJi: why not start @ 6 PM & sleep by 11 PM

 

 

Was that so hard

Puttar: Bebe, Office ki tension hai…

MummyJi: Shaadi Karle, I know just the right one

Puttar: Dusre ki shaadi Aur Dusre ki Biwi Sabko achi lagti hai

 

 

My weight loss journey be like:

Puttar: Bebe, I got dumped because I am Fat

MummyJi: Aloo Parantha laaoon

Puttar: That’s exactly why

MummyJi: Toh Makhni Dal kaun khaiga ab

 

 

BadAss

Puttar: Bebe, I want a Sports Car…

MummyJi: Teri Alto 800 Super Car hai, The Best

 

 

As Rob has defined it in “The Mom Test” – its all about the real learning when everyone is lying... more to do with a business though however behaviour at its best.

So in the mom test, you go...

hey mom I have a business idea, what do you think?

She goes its great, you are so smart!

However that’s an opinion not real data. But if you ask differently, if rather asking about your idea, if you ask about her life as a customer you might learn alot

Like it is evidence, not fluff

If you go with an agenda or share the purpose of why you are meeting someone, you will have people bias coming in when you discuss. But if you go with the flow by Just talking to them, conversational not with the approach of “a means to an end” you get something else

 

Confusion creates things like Mahabharat. It all started with Mummy Logic > she cared for things which all the guys tried to figure out… &

Bibbity bobbity booo we got an EPIC

A story mix about Games of Thrones + dramatic comedy + love + loads of misunderstanding… this will sound v familiar

You can use Mahabharat & Ramayana in any aspect of life, Dharma & Moksha

While Jealousy & materialistic things mess with you

My Ex Girlfriend fell for me while I narrated the Myth & became the Storyteller

It worked for me but then the party was officially over

She was so Hot that she burnt away… what do you want me to say?! Girls hmmm…

Anyhooo be good to your Mummy

 

I had a dream… like a picture that hasn’t been taken yet & I was part of it

 

Only if you’re famous they like anything you post – I am serious, look at a girl going stupid crazy for a famous guy just posting randomly anything… this is called Gravity

So on that note Make me Famous by sharing my page/link/insta handle with your friends

Then let Gravity do its thing…

Leave a Message after you Read “Beep”

 

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

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L.O.V.E Cartel

1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling

a poetic twist along with one-liners

Short Tales Read Affair on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

Read > Like > Share > REPEAT

 

L.O.V.E Cartel

 

 

Habibi

40,000 years of human language & still we can’t find the way to describe a relationship if it isn’t marriage… so they say more than a hook up & less than a girlfriend

 

The crazy thing is that in our Universe the Neighbors are more worried about your Marriage than yourself, & these guys share notes, you can run but you can’t hide

I mean the other day an aunty started with some gyan on how getting married is so important… I am sure for you Aunty, maybe you are trying a career in Matching making or become a Wedding Planner

Geez, Spare me! so the world goes round…

 

My Hitched cousin (Alias) Peanut said: I tell her I love her 4 times a day what else does she want?

Once a Flower, now she is North Korea

she used to have the hots for me & when horny… never mind those days are long gone

You are Lucky to be Single again…

 

I said: other relationships truly inspire me to be single

At this very moment - you truly believe that you can fly (I mean if you are single, others settle down!

now let’s not get ahead of ourselves)

 

I was trying to give him hope while nobody is successful in this space & a daily struggle…

Also me: Hmmm

The girl who wore my old Tee & stole my sleep

The girl who made me coffee & that said it all

The girl who gave me hope & broke my heart

The girl who made me smile & gave me strength

The girl who made me weak in my knees & rocked my world

The girl who was sweet as sugar & called me baby

The girl who said wait & never came back

judges?

you gotta put a whole lotta gone to escape that shit

Its not who’s right, its whose 1^st (I read it off the box)

 

Peanut: Define right Bruh

Me: Nike is a brand, reebok has cool sports technology & then adidas is hip

Lil shit like that. you Dig?!

Acting like an expert; You came to the right guy, Cross it off the list

 

Let me tell you a Story - these 2 long lost friends were sharing how life is shaping up

Miss Okeydockey: Ding dong, she opens the door

Miss J: Whose there? Without sight…

Miss Okeydockey: women who knock rarely make history

Miss J: I am getting married to my Soul Mate

Miss Okeydockey: you mean Arranged Marriage

Miss J: a rude question… that’s called marriage

 

Miss Okeydockey: 1 size fits all. Something unusual, that said, gonna level with you

 

4 Din ki Chandni wala Soul Mate

Billions of people in the world & you kids think that your soul mate is the guy who Papa found for ya,

So it is like “Listen to what the fuck I say” & get married

Of course you do

Right now after you read - it will be for sure the most beautiful & terrible thing you will ever realize! Mazel Tov Darling

Some have Zero Chemistry, or due to the looks to kill… might find yours just incredibly Sexy till he opens his mouth, but then you have to say “love you back”

 

Miss J: Ouch that hurts! the best part of my life was Fake

 

Miss Okeydockey: AbsoMFuckinLutely, The Prep up for you to be killing it…

 

If Marriage was like buying a Phone:

you compare with your Exes then… Plain & simple You will go for an upgrade

you can’t miss Nokia if you start using an iPhone

Or as I love to call the BOGO (Buy 1 Get 1) Androids are no match for an iPhone

 

On the other hand

 

If Marriage was like buying a Car:

Well looks & luxury is important, but you better check Power & Efficiency under the Hood

I rest my case!

 

Fun Fuckin Fact is that when it is an Arranged Marriage - you don’t check any real features. So, you decide to get married based on the superficial stuff which is on the surface of it all, while your approach isn’t sensible that doesn’t 100% guarantee this deal will make you comfortable or in most cases make you laugh a lot & feel sexy or excited more than often

Hmmm how it shakes out is…

If the predecessor was a freak in bed then how does one overcome an Ex lover’s beautiful skills… all skill maam

You Feel me?

Miss J: 10 for 10… Damn its like you know me!

 

Miss Okeydockey: I have nothing against the institute of Marriage but be true to yourself!

The Family staged a marriage, complete blueprint to miss the booby trap, You can’t win em all

It was like we took you out for dinner & asked you to marry kind of a thing here… haha,

Shaken not Stirred, a freakin open house

The consultant did much… from wed locks to unlocks

 

Cases when you are not interested rather you still get turned down before you could say something

what if you were asked a question by the fix-up guy: are you a Virgin? Morale compass activated

Or an over share - My first kiss was when I was 5 & the monkey has never stopped since…

 

There are 2 kinda Pains – 1 will alter you & the other just fuckin Hurts

 

Miss J: Most will be Pun, Bhagwan Bharose

Hmmm Matrimony has its limits, So does a work wife

So how is your love life treating you… any one you seeing?

 

Miss Okeydockey: haha you are opening the pandora’s box

Agar mujhko Gulab Jamun pasand hai toh iska matlab yeh nahi ki I will stop eating Dark Chocolate

There comes a time in your life when you learn that booty call means casual sex

No point if there isn’t a happy ending

On the contrary lets look at the the ubiquitous truth of Binge Dating, you simply get Blinded by Dating, you have to go with the flow… The universe has grown & how. Well it is Just like riding the bicycle. You learn to balance & keep moving on. Its quite exhausting & maybe boring with a few guys

outnumbered 8:1, so had em all from Beautiful mistakes to breakups…

I usually start with simple questions are you window shopping?

the lingo is are you Renting or Buying?

I didn’t say anything

 

After listening to the same thing on repeat… Your place or Mine?

Abracadabera Hocus Pocus… drink till the night makes some sense

Shuffle the pack & pick another card

 

Miss Okeydockey: “do what I say, not what I do” Capisce?

 

Miss J: got it

I am full of surprises, Play it Cool, “don’t play it by the rule”

 

Miss Okeydockey: I will take that as a Yes

I don’t watch the sport I play the game

My Ex always used to say… What happens when you fall outta love with your spouse & can’t leave… Ans: you find a mistress

Be yourself, add mortgages, subtract a few mills, that’s how it ends.

In my last relationship - All we did was hate each other & control each other

 

When your partner buys you underwear or brings coffee without asking then you know, more so she understands the heck you are… When you want more of what you have

I lived it all... speaking of which

I’m the only friend you got

you are exceptionally beautiful, so you will find many

 

Merci

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

Feel Free to Leave a Comment or not, whatever you lovelies wish

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