Friday, October 29, 2021

L.O.V.E Cartel

1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling

a poetic twist along with one-liners

Short Tales Read Affair on Self-Love, Travel & Lifestyle

 

Every Month* New post* Same link*

Read > Like > Share > REPEAT

 

L.O.V.E Cartel

 

 

Habibi

40,000 years of human language & still we can’t find the way to describe a relationship if it isn’t marriage… so they say more than a hook up & less than a girlfriend

 

The crazy thing is that in our Universe the Neighbors are more worried about your Marriage than yourself, & these guys share notes, you can run but you can’t hide

I mean the other day an aunty started with some gyan on how getting married is so important… I am sure for you Aunty, maybe you are trying a career in Matching making or become a Wedding Planner

Geez, Spare me! so the world goes round…

 

My Hitched cousin (Alias) Peanut said: I tell her I love her 4 times a day what else does she want?

Once a Flower, now she is North Korea

she used to have the hots for me & when horny… never mind those days are long gone

You are Lucky to be Single again…

 

I said: other relationships truly inspire me to be single

At this very moment - you truly believe that you can fly (I mean if you are single, others settle down!

now let’s not get ahead of ourselves)

 

I was trying to give him hope while nobody is successful in this space & a daily struggle…

Also me: Hmmm

The girl who wore my old Tee & stole my sleep

The girl who made me coffee & that said it all

The girl who gave me hope & broke my heart

The girl who made me smile & gave me strength

The girl who made me weak in my knees & rocked my world

The girl who was sweet as sugar & called me baby

The girl who said wait & never came back

judges?

you gotta put a whole lotta gone to escape that shit

Its not who’s right, its whose 1st (I read it off the box)

 

Peanut: Define right Bruh

Me: Nike is a brand, reebok has cool sports technology & then adidas is hip

Lil shit like that. you Dig?!

Acting like an expert; You came to the right guy, Cross it off the list

 

Let me tell you a Story - these 2 long lost friends were sharing how life is shaping up

Miss Okeydockey: Ding dong, she opens the door

Miss J: Whose there? Without sight…

Miss Okeydockey: women who knock rarely make history

Miss J: I am getting married to my Soul Mate

Miss Okeydockey: you mean Arranged Marriage

Miss J: a rude question… that’s called marriage

 

Miss Okeydockey: 1 size fits all. Something unusual, that said, gonna level with you

 

4 Din ki Chandni wala Soul Mate

Billions of people in the world & you kids think that your soul mate is the guy who Papa found for ya,

So it is like “Listen to what the fuck I say” & get married

Of course you do

Right now after you read - it will be for sure the most beautiful & terrible thing you will ever realize! Mazel Tov Darling

Some have Zero Chemistry, or due to the looks to kill… might find yours just incredibly Sexy till he opens his mouth, but then you have to say “love you back”

 

Miss J: Ouch that hurts! the best part of my life was Fake

 

Miss Okeydockey: AbsoMFuckinLutely, The Prep up for you to be killing it…

 

If Marriage was like buying a Phone:

you compare with your Exes then… Plain & simple You will go for an upgrade

you can’t miss Nokia if you start using an iPhone

Or as I love to call the BOGO (Buy 1 Get 1) Androids are no match for an iPhone

 

On the other hand

 

If Marriage was like buying a Car:

Well looks & luxury is important, but you better check Power & Efficiency under the Hood

I rest my case!

 

Fun Fuckin Fact is that when it is an Arranged Marriage - you don’t check any real features. So, you decide to get married based on the superficial stuff which is on the surface of it all, while your approach isn’t sensible that doesn’t 100% guarantee this deal will make you comfortable or in most cases make you laugh a lot & feel sexy or excited more than often

Hmmm how it shakes out is…

If the predecessor was a freak in bed then how does one overcome an Ex lovers beautiful skills… all skill maam

You Feel me?

Miss J: 10 for 10Damn its like you know me!

 

Miss Okeydockey: I have nothing against the institute of Marriage but be true to yourself!

The Family staged a marriage, complete blueprint to miss the booby trap, You can’t win em all

It was like we took you out for dinner & asked you to marry kind of a thing here… haha,

Shaken not Stirred, a freakin open house

The consultant did much… from wed locks to unlocks

 

Cases when you are not interested rather you still get turned down before you could say something

what if you were asked a question by the fix-up guy: are you a Virgin? Morale compass activated

Or an over share - My first kiss was when I was 5 & the monkey has never stopped since…

 

There are 2 kinda Pains – 1 will alter you & the other just fuckin Hurts

 

Miss J: Most will be Pun, Bhagwan Bharose

Hmmm Matrimony has its limits, So does a work wife

So how is your love life treating you… any one you seeing?

 

Miss Okeydockey: haha you are opening the pandora’s box

Agar mujhko Gulab Jamun pasand hai toh iska matlab yeh nahi ki I will stop eating Dark Chocolate

There comes a time in your life when you learn that booty call means casual sex

No point if there isn’t a happy ending

On the contrary lets look at the the ubiquitous truth of Binge Dating, you simply get Blinded by Dating, you have to go with the flow… The universe has grown & how. Well it is Just like riding the bicycle. You learn to balance & keep moving on. Its quite exhausting & maybe boring with a few guys

outnumbered 8:1, so had em all from Beautiful mistakes to breakups…

I usually start with simple questions are you window shopping?

the lingo is are you Renting or Buying?

I didn’t say anything

 

After listening to the same thing on repeat… Your place or Mine?

Abracadabera Hocus Pocus… drink till the night makes some sense

Shuffle the pack & pick another card

 

Miss Okeydockey: “do what I say, not what I do” Capisce?

 

Miss J: got it

I am full of surprises, Play it Cool, “don’t play it by the rule”

 

Miss Okeydockey: I will take that as a Yes

I don’t watch the sport I play the game

My Ex always used to say… What happens when you fall outta love with your spouse & can’t leave… Ans: you find a mistress

Be yourself, add mortgages, subtract a few mills, that’s how it ends.

In my last relationship - All we did was hate each other & control each other

 

When your partner buys you underwear or brings coffee without asking then you know, more so she understands the heck you are… When you want more of what you have

I lived it all... speaking of which

I’m the only friend you got

you are exceptionally beautiful, so you will find many

 

Merci

 

 

--- Arjun the Storyteller

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