1 Minute Stories... Avant Garde type feeling
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Habibi
40,000
years of human language & still we can’t find the way to describe a
relationship if it isn’t marriage… so they say more than a hook up & less
than a girlfriend
The crazy thing is
that in our Universe the Neighbors are more worried about your Marriage than yourself,
& these guys share notes, you can run but you can’t hide
I mean the other
day an aunty started with some gyan on how getting married is so important… I
am sure for you Aunty, maybe you are trying a career in Matching making or
become a Wedding Planner
Geez, Spare me! so
the world goes round…
My Hitched cousin (Alias)
Peanut said: I tell her I love her 4 times a day what else does she want?
Once
a Flower, now she is North Korea
she used to have
the hots for me & when horny… never mind those days are long gone
You
are Lucky to be Single again…
I said: other relationships
truly inspire me to be single
At this very
moment - you truly believe that you can fly (I mean if you are single, others
settle down!
now
let’s not get ahead of ourselves)
I was
trying to give him hope while nobody is successful in this space & a daily
struggle…
Also
me: Hmmm
The
girl who wore my old Tee & stole my sleep
The
girl who made me coffee & that said it all
The
girl who gave me hope & broke my heart
The
girl who made me smile & gave me strength
The
girl who made me weak in my knees & rocked my world
The
girl who was sweet as sugar & called me baby
The
girl who said wait & never came back
judges?
you
gotta put a whole lotta gone to escape that shit
Its not who’s
right, its whose 1st (I read it off the box)
Peanut: Define right Bruh
Me: Nike is a
brand, reebok has cool sports technology & then adidas is hip
Lil shit like that.
you Dig?!
Acting like an
expert; You came to the right guy, Cross it off the list
Let me tell
you a Story - these 2
long lost friends were sharing how life is shaping up
Miss Okeydockey:
Ding dong, she opens the door
Miss J: Whose
there? Without sight…
Miss Okeydockey:
women who knock rarely make history
Miss J: I am
getting married to my Soul Mate
Miss Okeydockey: you
mean Arranged Marriage
Miss J: a rude question… that’s called
marriage
Miss Okeydockey: 1 size fits all. Something
unusual, that said, gonna level with you
4 Din ki Chandni
wala Soul Mate
Billions of people
in the world & you kids think that your soul mate is the guy who Papa found
for ya,
So it is like “Listen
to what the fuck I say” & get married
Of
course you do
Right now after
you read - it will be for sure the most beautiful & terrible thing you will
ever realize! Mazel Tov Darling
Some have Zero Chemistry, or due to the looks
to kill… might find yours just incredibly
Sexy till he opens his mouth, but then you have to say “love you back”
Miss J: Ouch that
hurts! the best
part of my life was Fake
Miss Okeydockey: AbsoMFuckinLutely,
The Prep up for you to be killing it…
If Marriage was
like buying a Phone:
you compare with
your Exes then… Plain & simple You will go for an upgrade
you can’t miss
Nokia if you start using an iPhone
Or as I love to
call the BOGO (Buy 1 Get 1) Androids are no match for an iPhone
On the other hand
If Marriage was like
buying a Car:
Well looks &
luxury is important, but you better check Power & Efficiency under the Hood
I rest my case!
Fun Fuckin
Fact is that when it
is an Arranged Marriage - you don’t check any real features. So, you decide to
get married based on the superficial stuff which is on the surface of it all,
while your approach isn’t sensible that doesn’t 100% guarantee this deal will
make you comfortable or in most cases make you laugh a lot & feel sexy or
excited more than often
Hmmm how it shakes
out is…
If the predecessor was a
freak in bed then how does one overcome an Ex lover’s
beautiful skills… all skill maam
You Feel me?
Miss J: 10 for 10… Damn its like you know me!
Miss Okeydockey: I
have nothing against the institute of Marriage but be true to yourself!
The Family staged
a marriage, complete blueprint to miss the booby trap, You can’t win em all
It was like we
took you out for dinner & asked you to marry kind of a thing here… haha,
Shaken not Stirred,
a freakin open house
The consultant did
much… from wed locks to unlocks
Cases
when you are not interested rather you still get turned down before you could
say something
what if you were asked a question by the fix-up
guy: are you a Virgin? Morale compass activated
Or an
over share - My first kiss was when I was 5 & the monkey has never stopped
since…
There are 2 kinda
Pains – 1 will alter you & the other just fuckin Hurts
Miss J: Most will
be Pun, Bhagwan Bharose
Hmmm
Matrimony has its limits, So does a work wife
So how is your
love life treating you… any one you seeing?
Miss Okeydockey:
haha you are opening the pandora’s box
Agar
mujhko Gulab Jamun pasand hai toh iska matlab yeh nahi ki I will stop eating
Dark Chocolate
There comes a time
in your life when you learn that booty call means casual sex
No point if there
isn’t a happy ending
On
the contrary lets look at the the ubiquitous truth of Binge Dating, you simply
get Blinded by Dating, you have to go with the flow… The universe has grown
& how. Well it is Just like riding the bicycle. You learn to balance &
keep moving on. Its quite exhausting & maybe boring with a few guys
outnumbered
8:1, so had em all from Beautiful
mistakes to breakups…
I
usually start with simple questions are you window shopping?
the
lingo is are you Renting or Buying?
I
didn’t say anything
After
listening to the same thing on repeat… Your place or Mine?
Abracadabera
Hocus Pocus… drink till the
night makes some sense
Shuffle
the pack & pick another card
Miss Okeydockey: “do
what I say, not what I do” Capisce?
Miss J: got it
I am full of
surprises, Play it Cool, “don’t play it by the rule”
Miss Okeydockey: I will take that as a Yes
I
don’t watch the sport I play the game
My Ex always used
to say… What
happens when you fall outta love with your spouse & can’t leave… Ans: you
find a mistress
Be
yourself, add mortgages, subtract a few mills, that’s how it ends.
In my
last relationship - All we did was hate each other & control each other
When
your partner buys you underwear or brings coffee without asking then you know,
more so she understands the heck you are… When you want more of what you have
I
lived it all... speaking of which
I’m the only
friend you got
you
are exceptionally beautiful, so you will find many
Merci
--- Arjun the
Storyteller
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